Phrases to Delete
A large majority of federal business requires proposals, and federal proposal evaluators are sophisticated professionals who have read every self-serving statement known to man.
The themes we hear from federal proposal evaluators are: "keep it short and sweet," "just the facts please," "prove what you say," "don't put us on," and "make it easy on us." Wouldn't that be the way you would want it if you had to read 10 large proposals in one night?
Simplify your proposals by deleting these "You have to be kidding" phrases.
| Phrase | Why Delete |
|---|---|
| We are pleased... | They already know this; of course you are pleased. |
| We understand (or believe)... | That's nice; save the words and just state what you understand or believe. |
| Our highest priority is your satisfaction. | Come on. |
| We are committed... | As opposed to what? |
| We focus on quality. | You had better. |
| We value... | That's nice; just what is it that you value? |
| We are uniquely qualified. | Amazingly, all ten of the proposals we received said that. |
| We are the premiere providers... | We just terminated a contract with another premiere provider. |
| We are world class. | Prove it. |
| We offer a comprehensive, total, integrated solution with features just for you. | Please, just prove it; convince us. |
| We put the customer first. | Doesn't everyone? |
| We are the right choice (or we are the best). | Leave that to us. |
| ABC should select us because... | Please, just prove it with facts and leave the decision to us. |
Keep your proposal professional, convincing, and free from self-serving rhetoric.
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